How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

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A baby seal walks into a club

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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