Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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This statement is false.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Justin

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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