PENIS

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Justin Bieber.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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