How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Please ignore this statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +877

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down

there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,218

I'm Halarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops