Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

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Star Wars

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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A ginger rapping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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