what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

doctor doctor i need help i stay up all night dancing what is it? dance fever! HAHAHAHA its fatal.

thumb_up thumb_down -157

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

thumb_up thumb_down

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

thumb_up thumb_down

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -195

Roses come in a variety of colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops