what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

sdfrgtyuki

FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

Your mums a potato

There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

There are two types of people in the world: humans

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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