hi

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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Vagina-Boob

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Albert your flies undone.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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