- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Take part of what?

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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kennah campion... being nice

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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What do you do when you're bored in Manhattan? You buy a minigun, enchant it to have limitless ammo, and then shoot it for one hour straight, killing innocent pedestrians in time square while laughing hysterically. Or maybe that's just me

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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