So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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i like boobs haha ha hahaha

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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149

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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4

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

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There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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