What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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ObamaCare

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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69

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What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops