Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

What's the difference from an muslim and a christian blonde Religion

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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