Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

69. Yeah- that's my street address.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whos district champs not JM

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops