What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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YOLO

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knock knock. no one's home..

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Penis.

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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Proof reading

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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