What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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