What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What's 9+10? 19

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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So many dudes win with your mom who even knows if i'm your father!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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