if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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www.hurr-durr.com

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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