Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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What did the farmer say when he found his tractor? "There's my tractor."

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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