I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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eoin burgin is fat

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Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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