how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

Dislike if you are a prostitute

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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