There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

learn. advance!

Women's rights

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

Okay.

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

Three men are in prison and comparing crimes. The first says that he got three years and he never robbed that store. The second says he served six years and he never hit that lady. The third said he got life, and he killed every child in that orphanage.

Why did the child die? Natural causes.

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

your going to die

Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

Womens' Rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...