What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Well it's not going to happen so I don't see the point in giving this a name.

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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Make me famous

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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