Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

Want to hear a joke? No.

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

Your mother is average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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