What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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