How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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An Ethiopian field worker goes into work one day and finds out he was fired. Agriculture in Ethiopia is bad because it doesn't rain much.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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... Chan chan

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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