Where's my tractor?

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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The Holocaust

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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minecraft

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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