rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Help I'm being raped!

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Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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What's stupid and a waste of time? Anti joke .com because people on here are too ignorant and serious cuz it's not funny. It's anti joke G-Dang it. Come on seriously

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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