Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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