Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Black People.

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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