Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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