What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

No.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

Loner.

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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