Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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you just lost the game!

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Irish sobriety

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Q: Why did the crazy man stare at the orange juice container? A: Because it started talking.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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