What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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general tso's broccoli

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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Your life That's the joke

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops