Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Black People.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do u call a black guy with a gun? A police officer u racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops