LIKE THIS!

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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why was the postman sad? because ran over a small child with his truck

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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