How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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Ms. Smoot's class

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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47

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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