A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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I told you it would happen

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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