Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Men, get on the boat.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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