How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Is maynaise an instrument?

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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lipstick pig

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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What's brown and sticky? The british econonic system from 2 May 1997 to 27 June 2007.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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knock knock

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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