why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

Safe sex MR

What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

Hey we just met And this is crazy But my name's Kony And I stole your baby

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

darude- sandstorm

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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