A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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punchline below punchline above

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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Why is this site so stupid? It's no, its the best site ever

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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