-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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No soup for you!

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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