Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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You bumder!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops