-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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