Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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