What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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dude ur such a bon of a sitch

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what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Where is my tractor?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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