Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Joe diragi is gayer than elton john

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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penis

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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