what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Jimmy Saville

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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