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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

Carlton

What is long and black The unemployment line

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

How old are you? 20

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

Alex Eggbert

What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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