Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops