once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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once upon a time, it snowed

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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