ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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