What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops