What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What do a bucket and a women have in common? Before 1928 neither had the right to vote. The bucket still can't.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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...Jack Vale

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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