Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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roses are red violets are blue i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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come along children

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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