Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Women's rights

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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