A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Your Mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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