What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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